Avonlea's Arrival

Wow. A LOT happened after that last update!  Will do my best to recap now, but I'm on Percoset, so I might have to fill in some gaps later.

If you haven't read the previous entries, catch up by reading these:

My water broke!

5:45pm Update

6:45pm Update

Pictures from Dad

1:30am Update (from Nick)

Now that you're caught up...

The whole birth experience has been a true lesson in "you can't always get what you want".  Or, in my case, "you might not get anything you want".

At 1:30am, I started a Pitocin drip. They started with a pretty low dosage, because my contractions were so light and irregular. They also started because I wasn't progressing at all. If you look at this "before Pitocin" picture, the top is her heartbeat on the fetal monitor, and the bottom picture is my contraction activity:

Nothin'.  It stayed that way for so long, they told me that it would be too long after my water broke for things to progress without help.

This was the first time I had to make a decision that went against my birth preference sheet. My doctor and the nurses were all on my side about the birth plan, and wanted to keep it a priority...but we were now going to run up against an unexpected time frame--the doc didn't want to go too long after my water broke. It would've been fine if my water hadn't broken until after I started having regular contractions, but since it didn't, I had some decisions to make.

I ultimately decided that while I wasn't excited about having Pitocin-induced contractions, it was still better than the C-Section alternative, so I went ahead with it. I was determined not to have pain meds, though, and NO epidural. Seriously, I am so afraid of needles. When they had to hook up the IV for the Pitocin I almost cried.  It isn't some "I want to be a hero" thing, though I did want to be able to say I had done it by myself. Mostly, it was just me being afraid of the needle-in-my-spine thing.

The contractions that I felt were never in my stomach area. They were all in my back. I have had back problems for several months now, and these were in my upper back, and especially in my lower back.

I was on Pitocin from 1:30am until 5:00am, when the nurse came to check on me. I was able to doze off and on between contractions, but for the last couple of hours, it seemed like they didn't have a let down. I was in constant pain, and then there would be a few contractions in a row where I could barely breathe. Nick was doing his best to support me, but they wouldn't let me walk around too much--I was pretty much confined to my room and the length of my IV cord. Plus, walking around didn't seem to help too much. The position that relieved the most pressure was me on my hands and knees on the bed--but then there was no rest between contractions at that point.

By 5am, I was a wreck. I was telling Nick during my contractions that I didn't think I could do it anymore. I kept telling Nick I didn't think I could do this, and he was being an awesome supporter and teling me that I was doing great, and that he knew I could do it, but the pain was taking over my desire to do this the natural way. The contractions seemed like they were all running together, and they seemed so erratic, and it was making me frantic.  The nurse came in and asked if I had been checked at all. I hadn't, so she did. I was able to think straight enough to decide that if I were at 5cm or more, I could probably keep going. It would be hellish, but I could do it.  While she was down there, she asked me if I had ever had my uterus frozen. Um, what? She asked if I had ever had any trauma or surgery or anything. When I said no, (Nick told me) she got an "I can't believe this" look on her face. She told me to hold on, that it was going to hurt, and then I thought she was tearing me apart. I didn't know what she was doing, but I really thought she was killing me. Nick was holding my hand, and she was telling me to breathe, and I just wanted it all to stop, stop, stop!

Turns out, she was trying to stretch my cervix. After all of this time, I was barely 1cm dilated. Umm, what?  She said that she was asking about the surgery, because my cervix and the opening were as hard as a steel door. The opening was about the size of an eraserhead, and she was trying to stretch it open more. She couldn't get it to do anything. At this point, I am bawling and nearly hyperventilating, both from the pain, and from what she is telling me.  This is when I am so thankful for this nurse. She took my head in her hands, looked directly into my eyes, and asked me, "What is the most important thing to you? Is it the most important thing for you to have a natural birth?" I shook my head no, and said that I just wanted to have a healthy girl. And she said, "Then you are going to have to get an epidural. We are going to have to bump up this Pitocin and get these contractions more regular and stronger to get you past this 1cm, or the doctor is going to come in here at 7am and take that baby out no matter what you want."

I needed that.  I decided to go ahead and get the epidural. I looked up at the monitor, and the contractions that I thought were so bad weren't even halfway up on the intensity scale. I wouldn't be able to handle them raising the Pitocin intensity by itself.

Nick had to leave while the anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural, and my back pain was so bad I didn't even care. It took a few minutes (with the same nurse by my side, holding my head and helping me to breathe), but soon the pain lessened, and I felt like someone had deflated me. I almost instantly fell asleep. They gave me oxygen to help the baby out. I did manage to snap this picture of Nick, who was finally able to get some sleep, too:

At 8:00, the doctor came in and did another internal exam, and unfortunately, had bad news. I was barely 3cm dilated. The only bonus of this is that I had been able to sleep, and I didn't feel anything. He said my contractions were still irregular, and they weren't progressing me. He said that baby's heartbeat hadn't gone down in rate, but it was a little weaker, and mine was, too. He suggested at that point that I should have a c-section. The chances of doing this the all-natural way were even slimmer now. If I had been at 7cm or so, then he would have considered waiting, but since I was barely 3, the length of time they would have to wait wouldn't be worth the risks that would come by now being at almost 30 hours after my water breaking.

At 8:30, he inserted an internal fetal monitor to get a better picture of how baby's heartbeat was doing, and the doctor had a hard time getting it to stick--because her head kept slipping out of my pelvis.  After reading the monitor for a little bit, he confirmed that her heartbeat was a little weaker, and again stressed the problems with infection that she might endure if we waited longer. He left the room so that Nick and I could decide, but he did leave us saying that it would basically be like waiting for a Hail Mary pass to come, and that he wouldn't advise it.

We both realized that it was just not going to happen--and I was so tired and worn out by this point, I just wanted to see my baby girl.  We called the doctor back in, and told him to go ahead and schedule us. I was basically wheeled off right away. This was about 9:00.

You don't see it in the picture, but I was highly emotional. The entire way into the OR, plus all through the prep for surgery, and even through the beginning of the surgery itself, I was crying.

Nick went to get scrubbed up, and waited in another room while I was being prepped for surgery.

The rest of the process was SO FAST.  Nick was only able to snap these 2 pictures of the doctor walking in to the surgery (at 9:37am),:

and my vitals monitor (at 9:40am):

Before they announced, "She is here! Time of birth: 9:41am" Nick stood up in time to catch this picture:

It was SO FAST! Kind of ridiculous. Of course, as soon as I heard them say she was here, I cried again. Nick went over to take pictures. I cried harder when I heard her cry. I was straining to hear what was going on, since I was behind the huge curtain and unable to see anything. I heard them say the cord was wrapped around her neck once (it was actually not wrapped, just draped around her neck one time), and they suctioned out her breathing. All of the nurses kept saying, "what a big baby!" over and over, and I'm thinking they've got a 12-pounder or something! But no, they said, "she's 8lbs, 15oz." Whew!

Nick brought her over to me, and I just cried and cried. I was so exhausted, emotionally and physically, and seeing her within my reach finally after such a long wait was just too much. She was wide awake and looking around--the only time she cried out was right after she was born.

So now we are a family of three!

There is a lot more to say, but that concludes this chapter of the birth story.