For My "Other Mothers"

Mother's Day is hard for me. That's easy to understand. I miss my mom. I miss my Mamaw Campbell. I am sad I don't get to celebrate with them, and share my own girls with them.

But I would definitely be remiss if I didn't take time to comment on the fact that I still have FOUR amazing women that I can call "Mom" on this day. And I want to take a few minutes to share how they have impacted my life.

First, "Aunt Sunni". When I talk about my life here in Los Angeles, it is nearly impossible not to mention Sunni. She is our next door neighbor, and our landlord--but she is so much more than that for our family. She has taken over the Mom/Grandma role for us ever since we moved into our current home. She watches the girls. She loves Avonlea like she was her own granddaughter. She makes Avonlea amazing gifts, like "pimped out Cozy Coupe" that looks like Minnie Mouse:

She lets our guests stay at her mother-in-law apartment. She brings food and does my dishes and hangs out with the girls so I can take a nap. She is the Mom that I don't have here. My friends all exclaim, "*I* want an Aunt Sunni!" We don't ever want to move because of her.

Secondly, Great-Grammy Klimis. We don't get to see her often, but she loves and cares for my girls so much. She sends them beautiful dresses for the holidays. She cared for her husband through his many years with Alzheimer's disease, and was an incredible example of self-sacrifice and spousal love. And she raised a wonderful son, who cares deeply for my mother-in-law, and that makes her an All-Star Mom in my book.

Thirdly, my Mother-in-Law, Gaydene. I know of friends who have horror stories of their mothers-in-law, but I have absolutely no concept of that fact. My Mom is loving and kind. She has a heart to serve and love others. It was one of my first impressions of her when we met when Nick and I were dating. She just wanted to make a difference in other's lives, and I can say first-hand she has done that. She absolutely loves her grandkids. She doesn't get to see them as often as she would like, but she stays involved in all of our lives. Avonlea is growing up with a love of her Grammy, even though we are several states away from each other. She didn't have the easiest time as a mom herself, raising Nick on her own for a period of time. But she did an amazing job raising a son of integrity, who values hard work and quality, who provides for his family and is a source of strength for us to lean on. She helped to make Nick the man that I married, and for that I am forever grateful.

Finally, Grandma Hume. I have so many amazing memories of Grandma. Of Saturday mornings eating Cream of Rice cereal with her and Grandpa. Of Sunday afternoons at the pool at Kettering Rec Center and falling asleep on her couch afterward while the water dripped out of my ears. Of dressing up in her old nightgowns. Of croquet matches in her backyard on the hill. Of climbing her magnolia tree and picking roses in her backyard. Of putting up her tree together. Of epic family dinners with enough desserts to feed an army. Of beautiful handmade linens and drapes. Of photos and cameras and memories in handmade books. Of Tupperware containers filled with treats after every college soccer game, and earning the nickname of "Cookie Grandma." Of 63 God-filled years of marriage. Of countless matches of Rummikub and Monopoly and Memory and Chinese Checkers. Of endless service projects at church and hosting missionary families and friends in a never-ending sea of hospitality. Many of the best moments of my life include my Grandma, and I know thousands of others who would say the same. She is going to need a wheelbarrow to carry around her crown of jewels when she eventually gets to Heaven. She's 89 and a little slower than she used to be, but she's still a spitfire and a woman I love with every bit of who I am.

You Are Two

Dear Avonlea,

It's official: you are TWO years old. We celebrated on your actual birthday, which was on a Saturday this year, with a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party and your best friends.

I am amazed that you are two. It seemed like your first year was so long, and this year, time just flew by. I think it was faster because I was pregnant through a lot of it, but also because you are so much busier now!

You have grown by leaps and bounds this year. I look at pictures of you from April of last year, and look at you today, and it's just amazing to think of how much has changed. At this time last year, you were just barely walking. In fact, you took your first steps about 6 days after your first birthday, so you weren't really even walking at this time. In the picture on the left, we were at a farm a few days after your birthday, and I had to hold your hands to help you walk anywhere.

And NOW...well, now you are a champion walker and runner and climber!  You frequently amaze me with all you are able to accomplish, and all the places you are able to get to.

You are so smart. You can count objects, you know your colors, you know all the Disney characters and all the superheroes. You are able to do puzzles of a higher difficulty--ones without "helps". You got this one for your birthday (http://www.amazon.com/Frozen-28871-Floor-Puzzles-46-Piece/dp/B00J9S2SH2), and you were able to put the characters' pieces together, which just amazed Mommy (and Aunt Sunni!).

You're definitely starting to test limits. We are working on teaching you what obedience is--how it pleases God, and how it helps Mommy and Daddy keep you safe. It's going to be a long battle to learn! You are independent and bold and STUBBORN, so this is a hard lesson to learn.

You are super independent--you can play on your own for long periods of time. You're starting to do imaginative play more and more--you like your Little People sets, and you'll often have them act things out together. You have a Little People Little Mermaid set, and you have them recreate scenes from the movie. You LOVE water. You could stay in the bath all night. I bought a hard-sided baby pool for you to play in when it is warm out--you could stay in it for HOURS.  The first day we had the pool, you stayed in it so long that the water got cold and your lips turned purple! We had to come inside and change your clothes and wrap you up in a bunch of blankets to try to get you warmed up!

Because you are so independent, we do have some trouble with you not being concerned about where Mommy and Daddy are--you'll often wander off in the park, or in a store (where they don't have kid-containers, I mean CARTS), and not have any care about where we are. You also have trouble with obedience, so when you wander off, or climb to the top of a play structure and Mommy asks you to come back or get down, you choose not to listen. We're having to implement more and more consequences!  Mommy is doing research on how to manage negative consequences with positive consequences...being a Mommy is hard work sometimes!

You have some great friends--Wyatt is the one we play with the most. You love to boss him around, poor kid! We are working on being kind. Bossy is okay, as long as you are being kind!

You have some trouble when friends your age come over to our house--you haven't figured out how to share your toys with your friends with grace. You love older kids--you are constantly watching them when we are in the park, and you're always trying to do what they do. You love hanging out with Lily Neal (who is 12).

A lot of people have asked how you are doing with a new sister in the house. The truth is, you are doing a lot better than I thought you were going to do. When I was pregnant and I would hold a baby, you did NOT like it. You whined and cried and pulled on my pants leg. Another mom friend said I was in for some trouble because of how you behaved. But since Aria's arrival, you have done really well. We have had some moments here and there (including once in the hospital and our first day home), but for the most part, you have done really well having a little one invade our home and take half of Mommy and Daddy's attention. We are working hard to make sure you still feel loved and secure, and you have done a good job being a helper for Mommy. You like to get the baby's diapers, and you like to give her hugs. You have wanted to hold her once or twice, but for the most part, you leave her alone--Miss Independent at it again.

LOVES:

* music

* Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

* watching movies

* bubbles

* balloons

* going to the zoo

* playing on the playground

* puzzles

* painting with a brush

* Nemo

* climbing up on things

* pointing out things in the car, or when we're out and about

* water

* stickers

* opening packages and presents

* running

* playing with whatever someone else is playing with

* grapes, hot dogs, guacamole, rice, pasta, corn on the cob, "cake" (aka muffins), milk, food pouches, M&Ms

* mimicking words and phrases (which means we have to be careful now!)

* doing whatever you like whenever you like

* swallowing your toothpaste instead of brushing your teeth with it

* Aunt Sunni's house

* Aunt Attey and Uncle Bubby (ESPECIALLY Uncle Bubby)

* hiking

* cracking eggs

* wearing bows

DISLIKES:

* having your hands dirty/sticky/sandy, etc.

* fingerpainting (see above)

* going to bed

* loud noises

* bubble wrap

* brushing your teeth

* going down the slide and getting static-y

* eating things with weird texture, or a texture you aren't expecting

* wearing any shoes other than your Elsa shoes (thankfully they are gym shoes)

* being told what to do

* wearing headbands *sniff*

* riding in the seat in a shopping cart

* getting out of the bath

We have been singing this song a lot lately--I love looking at you in the rear-view mirror when we sing it together in the car. You get this grin on your face, and it makes me grin, too. You are the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world to me. 

Love you bunches,

Mommy

Visiting Family

A whole month without writing?? Egads!

I have a couple of posts that I started, but have just "saved" for later. There are just some things I want to brew for a little while longer before blasting them out.

We just got back from a wonderful weekend in San Diego. We met up with Ashley, who was in town for the weekend for a conference. We were able to stay together in the hotel one night, and then our friends graciously hosted us for the rest of the weekend, so we could be together as much as possible.

It's hard to believe that Ashley has only been able to see Avonlea three times so far. Growing up as we did in Ohio, surrounded by family all the time, I never thought I would raise my little one so far away from others in my extended family, especially not her immediate family.

I know that we are supposed to be here in LA. And I really do love it. But I do *not* love that Avonlea is growing up without them. It sucks, to put it mildly.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year. I think it is my favorite time. We moved away from the ice and snow that could typically accompany this winter season--but since that is my least favorite part, it's okay with me. :)

Christmas was always my mom's favorite time of year, too. Her house would be decorated to the nines--she had 5 trees of various sizes around the house, plus garland around all the doorways and handrails through the house.  She loved nativity sets, as well. She had a nativity set that she would put out, one piece every day--with baby Jesus arriving on Christmas morning.  Her Christmas dishes were a beautiful highlight, too. Every time we went on a vacation, we would look for a Christmas ornament for our trip, and mom would find a shop that sold dishes to look for a Christmas place setting. I think she has about 20 settings overall, all different, all beautiful.

It was hard for me to get into the holiday spirit in the Christmas after mom passed away. It took me several days to put the tree up, because it would make me sad to think of the tree being up and getting into that celebratory spirit without her.  But as the years have passed, it has slowly gotten easier. This year, the joy returned, as I thought about decorating the tree and sharing the beauty of the season with Avonlea.

It was so fun seeing this time of year through her eyes. She's not old enough to "get" any of it yet, but watching her eyes light up when she saw the tree and the ornaments was so heartwarming.

We spent the week before Christmas in Ohio, celebrating with Nick's family and my family two subsequent weekends. Avonlea did such a great job. She figured out how to unwrap presents, and she especially loved playing with the tissue paper. Most especially I enjoyed "sharing" her with all of her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmas and grandpas.  She won't get to grow up with them close by, so I was so glad we were able to go back to see them while she is still young.  There will come a time when she might think that gifts are the most important thing, but I hope that Avonlea truly values the time that we get to spend with family, and celebrating the birth of Jesus.

Mom had a tradition that she got from my Aunt Barb: she would give us a new Christmas book each year.  I loved getting the books out of the box and sharing them with Avonlea. She's still too young for most of them, but I look forward to sharing them with her in the future:

I started that tradition this year with Avonlea. I got her the book "The Smallest Gift of Christmas", and inside I wrote her first note:

(I also got her a Christmas "touch and feel" book that she could actually "read" this year.)

I also got out a little bit of mom: I used her Christmas dishes for breakfast at the Hume family get-together. The table wasn't as pretty as Mom would have made it, but it was a little bit of her, and I think she would have appreciated that her dishes were still being used.

To prove that I am not Debbie, take a look at the strawberry/banana "candy canes". Saw them in a Taste of Home magazine, but they proved an epic fail in the execution. Oh, well. Makes for a silly story.

I am so glad Avonlea was able to spend time with her great-grandma and her great-Papaw, as well as her Grandpa (PawPaw, as we call him), Grampy and Grammy, and Aunt Ashley.

Thoughts on Ohio and Family

Our trip to Ohio (and Kentucky) was great. Avonlea did a wonderful job on the flights. She only fussed a small amount at the very end of our flights to Ohio, and fussed a little more on our flight home--but Nick said it wasn't bad and I did a good job with her.

We were able to see all of my family (except one of my cousins and her family), and we were able to see Nick's mom and husband, who drove in from the Chicago area.

Avonlea had a really hard time with the time change for the first few days. She was REALLY cranky. The first few days we only saw family, though, so they didn't mind the crying so much. They were just happy to see her!

We drove around a lot, but not so much that I felt super-rushed or like I didn't get to chat with people enough.  I also didn't go out of my way to meet with people. I just didn't want to have a jam-packed schedule like I've had before. I knew it wouldn't be good for Avonlea.

I was able to get a taste of what raising Avonlea in Ohio would be like. I don't think I would have had so many struggles the first few months, because I would have had family support like I didn't have here. Don't get me wrong: it's not like I would've called them all the time. But it would've been nice to know that they were a phone call away, instead of a phone call and a plane ride away.

Yes, there are disadvantages sometimes to being around so much family. But, when you aren't around them at all, you wish they were nearby.  It makes me sad to think that Avonlea won't immediately recognize her aunts and uncles. They won't be at all of her birthday parties and holidays like I had when I was growing up.  I was surrounded by such love and support my whole life, and I worry that Avonlea won't know that she's part of such an amazing family.

When we left my grandma, she broke down in tears. She commented that she doesn't know if she'll ever see Avonlea again. She also said that Avonlea would never remember her great-grandma.

While the first sentence might be true (we think we will go back for Christmas, but you never know what will happen), I will make sure the 2nd sentence isn't true. Just like I will make sure that she knows who her Nana (my mom) was.

But it is true that for now, Avonlea will grow up away from family. We are among a community of orphans out here, and it forms some great friendships. Those friendships will become like our families, since we are all craving those connections.  It will certainly not replace our true family, but it will put a balm on the hurt we experience when we miss them.

I'm Coming Home...

We are going back to Ohio!

It was ridiculous. I looked at tickets all week, and they were hanging around the (usual) $315/ea. mark. Thursday night, Nick said for me to go ahead and book the tickets the next day. Well, Friday morning, they had jumped up to $500/ea or more!  We waited until Tuesday, hoping the price would go down, but it didn't, so we just booked it. After all, Avonlea isn't getting any younger, I'm tired of fielding the "when are you coming home?" question, and we don't know what's going to happen in the future.

So...we're coming home!

We leave Thursday at 11:30pm, arriving in Dayton on Friday morning at 8am.  We'll stay for 2 weekends, and then leave on Tuesday the 2nd of July at 6am.

My little girl gets to meet her family!!!  Nick's mom is planning on coming into town (I feel bad that we can't go to Chicago area as well, but there just isn't time), and we'll take Avonlea to meet my grandparents and aunts and uncles, and the 2nd weekend we'll drive down to Lexington to stay with Brandon and Ashley for the weekend.

My Dad will actually get to meet her sooner. He is actually flying in on Father's Day, and will stay with us that week and fly back to Ohio on the same flight as us.  This is a blessing, because it means I won't have to breastfeed in between two strangers. Yay!

As for the flight, I am admittedly very nervous.  The reason I didn't fly to Ohio in May is because Avonlea was a very fussy infant. She cried a lot, and I didn't want to take that onto a plane and risk ticking off a plane full of people.  Well, she still cries a lot. It is better than it was, she's not full-blown nuclear crying all the time now, but she is definitely fussy. She likes to be upright, and walking around our house--and on the flight she's going to be stuck in the same seat with me for a 4-hour flight, and an hour flight (we have a layover in Chicago).

I'm hoping that the red-eye flight will help, that she'll sleep well on the flight. But she doesn't sleep in my arms EVER, so it could be interesting.

I think we just need prayer. I don't want my little Fuss Face to ruin the flight for others (and us, as well). I'm already planning on making the little airline kits for our flight neighbors (saw them on Pinterest), but there's only so much I can do. I've been praying, and I will continue to pray that something miraculous will happen, and that Avonlea will become this champion sleeper (or just the happiest baby on earth) on our flights.

Please, Jesus.

1:30am Update (from Nick)

At 6, Jim and I went to go get some dinner for Allison. since she was still drug-free, she was allowed to eat. Panera Bread Chicken Noodle soup it is! Jim's flight is scheduled to leave at 8am, and after some fruitless attempts to get a free flight change, he decides to go ahead and head back to Ohio. Although it is frustrating, it would be the same cost to change these flights than to just come back for another week some other time. We don't know at this time how long it will be before the baby gets here. So, after delivering dinner, Jim and I head out to get our own dinner, and then take Jim back to the house. He has a friend that will pick him up and take him to the airport in the morning. This picture is right before Jim said goodbye:

While we are gone, Allison calls at about 7:30pm with the news that the Doctor thinks she needs to start Ambien (sleepy medicine). He is hoping that the sleep will help to kick-start the contractions.

1:30am Update:

• 8:00pm - scheduled to get some sleepy medicine at 8:30pm
• 8:50pm - sleepy medicine is infused
• 8:53pm - asleep
• 12:00am - awakened by need to use evacuate bladder and from sleeping on a bed made for giving birth, not for sleeping. bed quite uncomfortable on lower back. (These are the only type of contractions she has had, in her lower back.)
• 1:30am - no contractual progress (ie, no contractions). following doctors orders to start pitocin drip. hopefully can sleep more before things kick into high gear.

At 1:30am, when the nurse came in to check her, the contractions were still not progressing on their own, and were very mild. They didn't do an internal exam, but because of the mild nature of the contractions, they didn't think she was very far along. They said they had wanted her to rest up before starting Pitocin. Although she is disappointed to have to do Pitocin (and a little scared), she also realizes that "the show needs to get on the road", and decides to go ahead with the Pitocin. She still doesn't want an epidural, though. In her words, "I am more afraid of the needle in my spine than of the pain of childbirth!"

Here we go...

3 Days Overdue

3 days overdue, and still no baby. And I feel like my life is defined by the phrase, "A watched pot never boils."

Honestly, if situations were slightly different, I would probably be okay with her not being here yet. I can have things to do.

But, my sister is here...and she leaves on Monday. My dad is here...and he leaves on Thursday.

I will feel REALLY bad if they leave and Avonlea doesn't come.

I know that this happens a lot. And maybe we should've planned their visits differently. But with babies, you have NO IDEA how to plan. Avonlea could've come early--the doc has said how big she is. But she hasn't come.

I will feel really guilty if she doesn't arrive. And I have no reasonable reason (is that appropriate English?) to feel guilty, but I will.

We have been walking--did a 2.5 mile hike today. I have had the raspberry tea. We have had sex. I have had spicy (for me) food. I have had "the" salad dressing.

She is definitely lower than she was just a couple of days ago. And I have had some cramping, but nothing consistent.

PLEASE, baby girl. Your aunt and your Papaw want to meet you. Come out for them!

The Waiting Game

Well, we are now just waiting. All of our classes are done, our room is ready, we have diapers and a stroller and a car seat and clothes.

I've been reading like a madwoman, and have been baking/cooking some frozen meals to have ready. Tonight's prep was mini-meatloaves in a muffin pan, and they look SOOO good. Hopefully the burgers Nick is grilling will hit the spot. :)

We went today to get an adapter for our BOB stroller--it is made to hook into our BOB and is designed for our Chicco KeyFit--so we saved $75 by not needing to buy another stroller frame!  We also bought a glider chair from Craigslist for $90. It was a little more than I was expecting to spend, but I also got a much nicer glider than I was anticipating. I thought I would need to re-cover the one I bought, but this one came from a really nice home and was taken care of really well.

I am definitely more uncomfortable. If I move too quickly, I have pains. If I roll over without thinking through my technique (like, in the middle of the night), I have pains. If I stretch my legs too far apart, I feel like she's knocking on the door of my va-jay-jay. When I walk around, I find myself holding up the bottom of my belly to take pressure off. And please, oh please, don't let me sneeze!

Most of the time, her movements are a lot more uncomfortable for me now. She hits me pretty painfully on the right side. It's really bad if I wake up having been on my right side--she is so heavy over there, and I feel like that side of me is stretching out like crazy.

All of this, and I still don't feel like I'm ready. I'm not ready for her to come out, because the next part of our lives are going to start. My body is ready, but my spirit is more nervous than anything else!

Doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, so we'll see how she's doing.  And....Ashley gets here on Friday!!