To My Secondborn

Dear Aria,

I feel like I need to apologize to you.

Yes, you are only 4 months old, but this is a big one.

I'm sorry I didn't want you.

Before I got pregnant, while hanging out with my 13-month old, I would have dreams that I was pregnant, and I dreamt about how I would get rid of it somehow (I think I had a "baby in a basket in the Nile like Moses" dream). Then, when I found out I was pregnant, I actually had several days where I considered not telling anyone and giving you up for adoption. There are so many people out there who want babies, and I. Did. Not.

It's no secret I had a hard time with Avonlea. I had postpartum blues, I had trouble breastfeeding, Avonlea cried all the time and ate all night long, and it was exhausting. We were pretty happy being a family of 3, and I knew it would take a lot of planning (or a lot of booze) to get me to want to be a mom to another baby.

But God had a different plan. And when Avonlea was 13.5 months old, we got pregnant again.

And I was MAD. And sad. And frustrated. And scared. Boy, was I scared. I didn't think I could do it again. I didn't WANT to do it again.  And that feeling lasted much longer than it should have. For about 5 months, I really didn't want you.

And for that, I am sorry.

Because beautiful baby girl, you are an AMAZING gift. You are an incredible baby. Nearly perfect, if I say so myself. :) Sure, you have crying fits. Every baby does. But you spend most of the day in a lovely, smiley mood. You're super-easy to put to sleep. You sleep in my arms with a swaddle or without, and you're pretty content in your own bed with a good tight swaddle. You take a pacifier. You take a bottle (though, I haven't tried recently). You wake up only a couple times a night, and go right back to sleep without needing to be rocked or shushed. You take LONG naps during the day. You are happy and cheerful, and you smile at everyone.

With Avonlea, I was super-excited all pregnancy, and then spent the next 6 months wondering what in the world I was thinking. With you, Aria, I spent 4 months wondering what in the world was I thinking, and then have spent every minute since you have been born marveling at how incredible you are.  I'm sorry I didn't want you.

Because now, I can't imagine life without you.

Love,
Mommy

You Are Two

Dear Avonlea,

It's official: you are TWO years old. We celebrated on your actual birthday, which was on a Saturday this year, with a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party and your best friends.

I am amazed that you are two. It seemed like your first year was so long, and this year, time just flew by. I think it was faster because I was pregnant through a lot of it, but also because you are so much busier now!

You have grown by leaps and bounds this year. I look at pictures of you from April of last year, and look at you today, and it's just amazing to think of how much has changed. At this time last year, you were just barely walking. In fact, you took your first steps about 6 days after your first birthday, so you weren't really even walking at this time. In the picture on the left, we were at a farm a few days after your birthday, and I had to hold your hands to help you walk anywhere.

And NOW...well, now you are a champion walker and runner and climber!  You frequently amaze me with all you are able to accomplish, and all the places you are able to get to.

You are so smart. You can count objects, you know your colors, you know all the Disney characters and all the superheroes. You are able to do puzzles of a higher difficulty--ones without "helps". You got this one for your birthday (http://www.amazon.com/Frozen-28871-Floor-Puzzles-46-Piece/dp/B00J9S2SH2), and you were able to put the characters' pieces together, which just amazed Mommy (and Aunt Sunni!).

You're definitely starting to test limits. We are working on teaching you what obedience is--how it pleases God, and how it helps Mommy and Daddy keep you safe. It's going to be a long battle to learn! You are independent and bold and STUBBORN, so this is a hard lesson to learn.

You are super independent--you can play on your own for long periods of time. You're starting to do imaginative play more and more--you like your Little People sets, and you'll often have them act things out together. You have a Little People Little Mermaid set, and you have them recreate scenes from the movie. You LOVE water. You could stay in the bath all night. I bought a hard-sided baby pool for you to play in when it is warm out--you could stay in it for HOURS.  The first day we had the pool, you stayed in it so long that the water got cold and your lips turned purple! We had to come inside and change your clothes and wrap you up in a bunch of blankets to try to get you warmed up!

Because you are so independent, we do have some trouble with you not being concerned about where Mommy and Daddy are--you'll often wander off in the park, or in a store (where they don't have kid-containers, I mean CARTS), and not have any care about where we are. You also have trouble with obedience, so when you wander off, or climb to the top of a play structure and Mommy asks you to come back or get down, you choose not to listen. We're having to implement more and more consequences!  Mommy is doing research on how to manage negative consequences with positive consequences...being a Mommy is hard work sometimes!

You have some great friends--Wyatt is the one we play with the most. You love to boss him around, poor kid! We are working on being kind. Bossy is okay, as long as you are being kind!

You have some trouble when friends your age come over to our house--you haven't figured out how to share your toys with your friends with grace. You love older kids--you are constantly watching them when we are in the park, and you're always trying to do what they do. You love hanging out with Lily Neal (who is 12).

A lot of people have asked how you are doing with a new sister in the house. The truth is, you are doing a lot better than I thought you were going to do. When I was pregnant and I would hold a baby, you did NOT like it. You whined and cried and pulled on my pants leg. Another mom friend said I was in for some trouble because of how you behaved. But since Aria's arrival, you have done really well. We have had some moments here and there (including once in the hospital and our first day home), but for the most part, you have done really well having a little one invade our home and take half of Mommy and Daddy's attention. We are working hard to make sure you still feel loved and secure, and you have done a good job being a helper for Mommy. You like to get the baby's diapers, and you like to give her hugs. You have wanted to hold her once or twice, but for the most part, you leave her alone--Miss Independent at it again.

LOVES:

* music

* Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

* watching movies

* bubbles

* balloons

* going to the zoo

* playing on the playground

* puzzles

* painting with a brush

* Nemo

* climbing up on things

* pointing out things in the car, or when we're out and about

* water

* stickers

* opening packages and presents

* running

* playing with whatever someone else is playing with

* grapes, hot dogs, guacamole, rice, pasta, corn on the cob, "cake" (aka muffins), milk, food pouches, M&Ms

* mimicking words and phrases (which means we have to be careful now!)

* doing whatever you like whenever you like

* swallowing your toothpaste instead of brushing your teeth with it

* Aunt Sunni's house

* Aunt Attey and Uncle Bubby (ESPECIALLY Uncle Bubby)

* hiking

* cracking eggs

* wearing bows

DISLIKES:

* having your hands dirty/sticky/sandy, etc.

* fingerpainting (see above)

* going to bed

* loud noises

* bubble wrap

* brushing your teeth

* going down the slide and getting static-y

* eating things with weird texture, or a texture you aren't expecting

* wearing any shoes other than your Elsa shoes (thankfully they are gym shoes)

* being told what to do

* wearing headbands *sniff*

* riding in the seat in a shopping cart

* getting out of the bath

We have been singing this song a lot lately--I love looking at you in the rear-view mirror when we sing it together in the car. You get this grin on your face, and it makes me grin, too. You are the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world to me. 

Love you bunches,

Mommy

17 Month Letter to Avonlea

Dear Avonlea,

I haven't written a letter in a while, and I'm sorry. You're keeping me on my toes these days!!  It's pretty amazing how much you have changed since you turned a year old!  PawPaw Hume just visited (he hasn't seen you since your first birthday), and he couldn't believe how much you have changed. He commented that you aren't a baby anymore, and it's true. You really are a little toddler now. You've made huge strides in your physical development, your language expansion, and your personality changes.

You look so grown up now!

I look at these two pictures next to each other, and it's hard to believe there's only 5 months between them. Your face has gotten thinner, your neck has gotten longer, and you have no chunk left on your arms or legs (which is a little sad). Your hair is super-long--in fact, you've already had your first haircut! Everyone also comments on how blonde your hair is, which has only become more blonde the more time we have spent outside at the pool this summer!  Your feet grew 4 sizes since your first birthday--you now wear a size 6 shoe! You won't let me put headbands in your hair anymore (*sniff*), but you are really good about letting me put your hair in ponytails and pigtails with bows.

Being SO good at your first haircut:

Your mental development always catches me by surprise. You can just do so many things that surprise me! A few stories from recently:
- I've been giving you a bath at the same time as I take a shower--it's so much easier that way!  I stick your bathtub in the far end of the shower, then when I'm done I pick you up and soap you up and wash your hair. At the end of the bath, I dump out your tub, and turn your toys upside-down on the ledge for them to dry off. Last week, I didn't do that right away, and was doing something at the sink when I turned back to you and noticed that you were taking your toys and turning them over on the ledge!
- I sit you on the counter while I brush my teeth, and I give you a toothbrush to brush your teeth at the same time. Last week, I rinsed out my toothbrush and spit into the sink, and you leaned over and spit into the sink, too (or, at least, you tried to!). I giggled so much!
- You're an eating champ now. We eliminated breastfeeding a month ago, and you've been doing really well eating pretty much everything (except chickpeas). You especially love eating whatever Mommy and Daddy are eating. You'll walk up to one of us if we're eating something and say, "bite? bite? bite?" You also get really mad at Waldo (probably taking cues from Mommy) when he eats your food off your high chair tray or if you drop food and he eats it before you can pick it up. You get this really consternated look on your face and say, "No! No! No!"
- You love to identify sounds--a dog barks, and you say "raw raw raw", a truck drives by and you say "tuhk", a motorcycle goes by and you say "bike". You don't say anything, but you get a surprised look on your face whenever a siren drives by.
- You are already vying for my attention. When you want to tell me something, whether we're in the house, or the car, or out somewhere, you'll say, "Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma..." over and over until I say, "what?" Most of the time after that you'll say something that I can't comprehend, but you're definitely trying to get my attention to tell me! Often I just respond with an "oh, yeah?" and you're appeased until the next thing you want to tell me. Then it's "Momma, Momma, Momma" all over again.

Your vocabulary has just exploded over the last month. You said your first multi-syllable word "apple" (well, besides Mommy and Daddy), and have gone on to add many more to the list. I am trying to keep track of what you can say, but you've added them so fast I know I'm missing a few.  So far you can say:
Momma
Daddy
PawPaw
ball
dog
boat
goal!
bubbu (bubbles)
uh-oh!
ow!
Boo
WaWa (waldo)
ice
eyes
nose
No!
up
soo (shoes)
sahk (socks)
toes
hat
truck
ot! (hot)
fly
baby
Anna
Elmo
Abby
apple
book
eeez (keys)
Bambi
MoNee (Nemo)
foo (food pouch)
peeta (pizza)
MaMee (Mary Poppins)
down
Attey (Aunt Ashley)
Bubby (Uncle Brandon)
bug
cheese
teeth
mouth
panda
sit
seat
feet
bike
bite
wahwah (water)
bee
toes
egg
light
ehp (help)

You love to point to pictures and tell us who is in them--you also love to sit around the table at mealtime and point to each of us in turn and say our names. You also love to say animal sounds. You don't really say the names of the animals themselves (other than dog), but every time you see a picture of an animal whose sound you know, or you hear someone talk about a dog or a cat, you'll pipe up with that animal noise. So far, you know dog, monkey, elephant, lion, bird, bear, cow, chicken, sheep, cat, owl, goat, horse, and bee. You also recognize a lot more animals, just ones that have no identifiable sounds (like giraffe, rhinocerous, and fish).

You are officially a toddler. You love to walk, run, climb, and slide around on the furniture. I can tell we're going to have daily fights about not dancing on the coffee table (yep--you read that right). You are super independent--you no longer want me to hold on to your hand while you climb up or down steps, you want to put on your own shoes (and yell "No!" at me when I try to help--I'm repeating "No thank you" to try to influence your rudeness!), and you want to buckle your own car seat (thanks to Daddy for starting that one). You frequently take off without Mommy or Daddy--we're going to have to work on obedience in public. I thought I had lost you last week when we went to Kohl's. We're really working on staying right by the car while I get things out of the front seat. I want you to be good at this so that when your baby brother or sister comes along,  I don't have to worry about you running out into the street and getting hurt!  But you definitely don't want help and you want to do your own thing.  This includes at the park, where we have gone to the splash pad, and you will frequently just walk away from the splash pad and go to the swing area. I have had to sit you in "time out" a few times because you were not listening and going your own way, Fleetwood Mac.

You LOVE music. Whenever we take a shower, you point to the radio and say, "myoo? myoo?"  Your favorite Pandora station is one of Daddy's that plays rock music (like Blink 182) and one of Mommy's that plays dance music (like LMFAO).  When you get a song you like, you'll stomp and tap your feet, bop up and down, and turn in circles. It's pretty darn cute.

You don't like listening to the Disney Pandora station, mostly because you would much rather watch the actual videos. If you see a picture of Ariel or Rapunzel on TV and they're not moving, you get really cranky and stomp your feet. Every day for the last couple of months you have asked for "Fly?" multiple times a day, which is a Disney Sing-Along video of several Disney songs with the lyrics on the bottom of the screen. It was actually a VHS a long time ago that Ashley and I had, and Mommy found it on DVD--but now you're obsessed!  After watching "Fly" everyday for a month, Mommy ordered another one that has Mary Poppins, and so we alternate between the two.

"Fly" has been so influential that whenever you see Tinkerbell at a store, you'll just start yelling, "Fly! Fly! Fly!" You love it when I start to sing "You Can Fly" or "I've Got No Strings" (both songs from the video).

We've been going to a Mommy and Me class on Thursdays at the local Adult Center. You like having the time to dance and play instruments, spend time with other kids your age, play on the playground, and do art. You recently discovered painting, which is both exciting and brain-bending for you, and stressful for Mommy. We are also going to be going to a local MOPS group on Tuesdays. I don't see you at all for 2.5 hours on MOPS days, but I am confident you are going to have a good time because it seems like the teachers are really great and caring. It's good for you to spend time away from Mommy and Daddy, and with other adults. You've always been really good about going to the nursery at church, and you didn't have any trouble going to Moppets (the MOPS childcare). I'm so glad you don't have crazy separation problems!

You're getting better about having things on your hands--before, if you had any dirt or sand or something sticky on your hands, you would hold your hands out and make a whining noise until you could rub your hands together and get it off yourself, or have someone wipe them off for you. I was actually concerned about it a couple of weeks ago when we went to the beach for the day, since you have NEVER liked to play in dirt or sand. You were not excited about it at the start of the day, but after you fell in the water and decided you didn't like it, you got used to the sand and had fun digging in it.

It has been so nice recently to have you weaned off of breastfeeding. Thankfully, the transition was pretty smooth. I didn't have any engorging at all (thank God) and you didn't really cry too much about it. It shows that you were pretty much done by the time we ended up doing it. You now have a good solid bedtime routine, and you go down to bed really well. We change clothes, wash your face and hands, brush your teeth, read a story, say a prayer, and kiss goodnight. I love our little routine, and I also love that I can hand it off to Daddy or a babysitter, too! You're going to bed between 7 and 8pm every night, and sleeping right through until 7:30am! If you wake up at night, I know it's because you have a cold, or you're getting a tooth, because you are a good (if still a bit of a light) sleeper.

We have a lot of fun together. I love snuggling with you and reading stories together. I love going to explore new places ad try new things with you. I love to watch you learn about the world and about the people in it. I am so glad I get to share my days with you, and I am excited to see you change and grow as you become a big sister in the next few months.

I love you with all my heart,
Mommy

One Year Letter

Dear Avonlea,

I have lots of other things to work on right now, but I realize that I never wrote you a one year letter--in fact, I think I am really behind on a lot of your letters. If there is blame to be placed, it should probably be placed on you--you have stopped taking more than one nap a day, so my blog time is limited to the evenings, when I am often doing laundry, or cleaning up the house, or working on other things that get pushed back.

But don't worry--I'm not blaming you. I am so pleased I get to spend more of my day with your sweet face. I remember a time, not too long ago, when I would think to myself during the day, "I don't get to spend any time with my baby--she sleeps more than she is awake!" Well, that has certainly changed. You usually take one nap, but sometimes, if we are out-and-about, you won't take any! If that happens, you end up like your Mommy when she hasn't slept--cranky!  A couple of times I have actually just driven around so you'll sleep in the car!

Speaking of sleep, you still aren't sleeping through the night. You get up a lot to eat. I get a lot of grief from people about it (including the pediatrician, who tells me I have to stop it), but the bottom line is that it doesn't bother me that much. You go to bed at 6:30 or 7pm, and always get up sometime between 10:30 and 11pm, when I'm going to bed. You then get up once at 2:30 or 3am, and then get up for the day at 7:30am. Sometimes, you'll get up at 6am, I'll feed you, and you'll go back to sleep until 8:30. Those are great days. :)  This won't last forever, and until it really starts to bother me, I'll keep doing it.

One reason I am not stopping your night feedings is because you aren't eating during the day. You'll eat (swallow) purees, but anything solid you will play around with in your mouth, and then spit out. I think you're swallowing a little tiny bit, but for the most part, you just play the "taste and spit" game. I'm starting to wonder if we need to do some kind of therapy with you, since it hasn't seemed to get much better over the last 6 months. Eating this way, you won't be getting enough calories to begin to wean. You also want to do it all by yourself--you don't like to be fed, you want to do it yourself.

Other than the eating and sleeping thing, you are so much fun. You're very inquisitive. Anything new I bring into the house, you want to investigate. You love opening drawers and bags, pulling out all the contents, and then putting them back. You understand the phrase, "put it away!" which has become very helpful.

You absolutely love dogs. You squeal with delight, and start to say, "doh, doh, doh" whenever we see a dog out-and-about. You love cats, too, but we don't seem to have friends who have any cats. You love to stand at the screen door and talk to the dogs while they're outside.

You love to read. You'll go over to your basket of books, pull them out one at a time, and flip through them, making lots of talking sounds while you're doing it. You love to help me turn the pages, and you've started to point to things while I read. You can identify Mickey and Minnie mouse, and you love reading books with dogs and babies in them. We have a book that has a mirror on the last page, which is your favorite. You turn to that page, lean forward, and "kiss" the baby that you see.

You still love playing hide-and-seek. You're so funny--you've started playing it yourself. You hold yourself up on the coffee table, and squat down behind it and pop back up with a big grin. You always want me to say, "Where's Avonlea?? Boo!!"

Being outside is one of your favorite things. You're very aware of things in the sky--airplanes, helicopters, birds, and trees blowing in the wind. You always point to them and say, "aah!"  If you hear an airplane or helicopter, your finger will go right up in the air, and you'll search for the plane with your eyes--you can spot them from very far away!  You also are obsessed with balloons. When we go to Wal-Mart and Ralph's, you're always pointing to them, and spotting them even from across the store.  We recently bought a small inflatable baby pool, which you really enjoyed, and we'll use a lot this summer. You love to go on walks in the stroller, too. You're content to sit in your stroller for a long time, as long as we're moving somewhere!

You just started taking your first few steps a couple of weeks ago--it's amazing to see how you have already progressed and started getting better and better with your balance. You aren't really taking steps independently--you'll walk from the couch to me, but only if it's 5 steps or less. Today you took your first step towards a non-human--you were trying to walk after Gus! You are getting more confident day-by-day. You most like to walk having both of your hands held--in fact, if we let go of one of your hands, you would stop dead in your tracks!  The last few days, though, you are starting to walk by only holding one hand...you just tend to go in circles when that happens. :) When you do walk a few steps independently, you get very giggly...almost hyperventilating!

You are very tough and brave. You fall down and get bumps and scrapes a lot as you're learning how to move--but you very rarely cry. Sometimes, if you hit your head or fall down or smoosh your fingers, you'll look at me right away, and I'll say, "You're okay!"  If you start to cry before you look at me, I know you're really hurt--but that isn't very often. You can go down the slide with a little help getting started, and you always smile when you get to the bottom. You love to be thrown high up in the air--you will almost stop breathing when you get to the apex of the throw, and then giggle on the way back down. You love the swings, and love to be pushed high. You love the wind in your face, and you love to be spun around in circles, holding on as tight as you can to my shirt so you won't fall backwards. You love to be hung upside-down, and you love to be tickled. I adore hearing your little giggle when I hit the exact right tickle spot.

You're funny about dirt--you don't like having stuff on your hands, and you'll often go to a small piece of paper or fuzz on the floor to pick it up. You are definitely not a fan of sand, which is sad, because the local playground we used to go to all the time has been covered in sand by local kids. You don't like to crawl around it anymore. This also means you're not really a fan of stickers. I'll put one on the back of your hand, and you'll get fussy with me if you can't get it off your fingers.

You've started making a really cheesy grin, which always makes me laugh. In fact, you often make me laugh. Our days are filled with laughing and playing and joy. You start every morning by waking up and talking/singing in your bed until we come and get you.

You have very good fine motor skills. You often play with small things, pressing and manipulating them to figure out how they work. Recently you discovered the music box in your room, and the button under the lid that makes the music turn on and off. You also like taking the caps off of bottles. Grammy Gaydene remarks about it whenever she sees it. "That little finger!" she says, "Always moving!"  You're also getting good at throwing a ball back and forth with a partner. Your accuracy is pretty good! You mostly throw right-handed.

You don't like to have your hands held, and you are not a snuggler. Kind of makes Mommy sad, but that's just how you are. It makes the little snuggles you do give extra-special. You also don't like to sleep while being held.

You've started exhibiting some negative behaviors, like when you don't get your way about something. You'll start to throw a little bit of a fit--some fake tears or some whining. Thankfully, you're really good at cutting it out when I tell you that isn't appropriate. You also have started to do some willful things, like doing something even after I have told you no. We're going to be working on that for a while, I think!

You like looking at pictures. I made a large number 1 for your birthday, and covered it with photos. I haven't taken it off the wall, because every day you go up to it and point to the pictures and talk to them. You've started to be able to point to different people that I name--today you identified PawPaw, Gus, Daddy, and Aunt Ashley.

You get lots of compliments wherever we go. The nursery workers at church often make wonderful comments about you, and claim that you are one of their favorites (last week, they said that everyone else was crying, and you were just happy and content to hang out with everyone). The ladies that work at Ralph's love you, and lots of people comment on how beautiful you are. I agree with them, of course! I can't wait for you to show them how bright and smart and strong you are, too.

Baby girl, I love you with all of my heart. I love watching you grow, explore, and change. I love seeing your heart for your friends, and your love for your family.  My prayers are always with you.

Love,
Mommy

It's the Little Things (Letter to Baby)

Dear Avonlea,

It's midnight. I should probably go to bed, because the night is short, and you'll be raring to go in a few short hours.  But I just fed you, and now I can't sleep.

I can't sleep, my girl, because I am in awe of you.

As I was looking at you while you nursed, I just had an overwhelming feeling of peace and happiness.  And I just had to come and write it down, because sometime in the near future, I am going to have a very specific moment of UNhappiness. And I am going to wish for peace with every fiber of my being. And before that happens, I want to make sure I write this down so that I can return to it and remind myself of the wonder that is you.

Little girl, I love every single little thing about you.

The way your hair gets crazy on both sides after you nap because you sleep on your tummy.

The way you cross your feet when you sit, and it makes you look like a little lady.

The way you stick your tongue out when you encounter something new, and your little brain is just working, working, working to figure it out.

Your soft skin. Often, I will just "pet" your arms and legs while you nurse just to feel the softness.

Your eyelashes, and how sometimes, I wonder how they don't get tangled in your eyebrows, they're so long.

That little pointer finger that is always the first to explore something new, and how you just pick, pick, pick at that something. Just the other day, you worked on a sticker for 20 minutes, stick, unstick, stick, unstick.

How, when you're laying on the floor, and you can't hold yourself up on all fours anymore, you flop onto your belly, arch your back, put your arms and legs in Superman pose, and then pump them back and forth, like an upside down turtle. You'll crawl soon, little girl.

Your little giggle, usually reserved, but released at full strength when you're being thrown in the air, "thrown up on", or "stepped on". You're going to be a daredevil.

The way your little tongue is working so hard to form new sounds, and how you are fascinated with my teeth.

How, even though you can't crawl, you can still manage to get from one side of the room to the other with your cute little roll.

And how you get stuck under the coffee table and cry for me to rescue you.

Your little tooth that has popped in, and how I hear it scraping on all your toys as you figure out what this new invader in your mouth is.

The cute little "inny" belly button you have that always looks a little bit dirty (just like mommy's).

The way you wipe your entire face when you want to itch your nose--the way that mommy and Aunt Ashley do that drives Daddy crazy.

The way your little cheeks get super-pink if it's too windy, or you eat something new, or you get too hot--you always look like a little cherub.

I even love the things about you that can be kind of irritating, like how scratchy your nails seem to be *all the time*, or how you always seem to have sock fuzz between your toes, no matter how well I wash.


For these reasons, and so many more, I praise God for the wonder that He has given me. You are my treasure, little one. But more importantly, you are God's treasure. You were created in His image, and He made you just the way He wanted you to be. I want you to know how much I adore you. You may not always like everything about yourself. You may hate your hair, or your nose, or your eyelashes, or the way you do something--I remember feeling that way about myself many times. But, little girl, today I want to tell you that you are perfect just the way you are.

I'm so glad I get to be your Momma.

Letter to Baby

Dear Avonlea,

So, I totally missed your 6-month letter. You know why that is? Because we have been SO BUSY!  You have changed your naps, so you now sleep about an hour in the morning around 9, and then take a longer, 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon around 1 or 1:30.  This means I'm not able to get as much done during the day, but it also means that we have a lot more time together during the day, too.

Your little personality is really starting to come out. You love to smile and giggle. You play independently really well. You have been starting to manipulate smaller objects. If I give you something that has a zipper or a buckle, you'll sit and play with it for 20 minutes or so. This was actually a huge help when we flew to Philadelphia for Girls' Weekend--you played with your diaper changing station for a long time.

We're still working with you on a few things. You go down for naps really well, but your sleep at night isn't going all that well. You sleep 3-4 hours at a time. Occasionally you'll sleep for 5, but not often. You very consistently get up between 10 and 11pm. We're also working on eating solid foods. You do not like to eat off of a spoon!  You will clamp your lips together and refuse to open them! Thankfully, you will eat out of the food pouches, so we've been doing it that way, which helps.  You like apples, pears, carrots, sweet potatoes, spinach, mangoes, peaches, plums, and water. You DO NOT like squash, green beans, or peas. We'll keep working on it. :)

You are finally rolling over consistently. You can jet yourself around on the blanket--one day this week, I found you halfway under the couch!  You roll around like crazy in your crib, too. You often end up perpendicular to how I put you in the crib initially. Sometimes I'll hear you in the monitor with a frustrated cry and go in to your room to find you snuggled up against the solid side of your crib, unable to move.

You love to be outside. I have been taking you out for daily walks in your stroller, and you are content to ride along with me for an hour or more. Sometimes I am able to extend your awake time a little bit that way. Daylight Saving Time really messed up your bedtime routine--you used to go to bed at 7, but now we're pretty set at 6:30. Occasionally I can keep you up a little bit later, but usually you're pretty fussy.

Speaking of fussy, you really don't fuss very often anymore. You're growing and maturing so much. You really only fuss when you're ready for bed. Because you don't fuss often anymore, we really can take you just about anywhere. You're able to sit in high chairs, so we will take a few toys in the diaper bag, and you can sit in a restaurant with us and behave so nicely. You also do really well when you're with Daddy. You love him so much!

You're so chatty. You still sing yourself to sleep--usually in the car. You have the short a and short o sounds down pat. You use the consonants m, b, and d when you're talking. I swear you say maamaamaa when I'm around, and daadaadaa when Daddy is around, but he isn't convinced. Sunni thinks so, too!  You love blowing raspberries now, and when I blow them back at you, you giggle. You also sing along to the music that I play in the house or in the car. It's fun to watch you bounce on your butt to the music. There is one song in particular on Daddy's phone that makes you bounce, and it makes us laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nloSwFDPJAY

You are super ticklish on your thighs and on your ribcage. I love making you giggle and bend over with laughter. Your smile and your laugh makes my heart sing. You giggle a few times, and then make an "aak" noise, and then squeal like a little piglet. It's so funny!  http://instagram.com/p/g9YAqmMqnn/  http://instagram.com/p/g-6YFjsqmE/

You love going to Baby Mamas group on Tuesday. Joshua, Ava, Fletcher and Wyatt have become such good friends. You and Joshua tend to tackle each other often.

Everyone talks about how cute you are, everywhere we go. I've got to work on making sure you say thank you, but stay humble about it. Hopefully people will recognize how smart you are, too! :)

You still don't show any signs of getting any teeth. You chew on everything, but you have since you figured out how to put stuff in your mouth, so I don't consider that a sign.

I love you more than you'll ever know, my chunky monkey, my little nugget.
Mommy :)

Letter to Baby

Dear Avonlea,

Oh, my girl. I love you so much. We have spent 5 months together, and I am learning more and more about you every day. Your little personality is starting to show, and you are going to be so feisty, I can already tell. :)

Everywhere we go, people comment on how big you are. You are 18 pounds 6 ounces, and most of your weight can be seen in your chunky thighs. You are now wearing 6-9 month clothes. You still wear hair bows everywhere we go, because if you don't, people ask if you are a boy or a girl (which makes mommy crazy). Thankfully, you don't mess with them too much. Every once in a while, when we are in the car, you will pull on it and it will snap down over your eyes, which you are not a fan of, understandably.  This month I bought you some sunglasses, and you're really good about keeping them on your face, too.  You're my little accessories queen!

You are getting so strong. You love standing up in your exersaucer, and you do really well with tummy time now. You still aren't really interested in rolling over, but you're getting closer. You play with your feet often, and tend to roll over onto your side while you're playing with them. You started sitting up on your own a little--if you're leaning forward you can balance for a few seconds on your own. You love to play with toys that are sitting around you.

You also hold yourself up when I'm holding you. You used to have to stay facing my shoulder, but now your core is strong enough that you can hold yourself up like a big girl. You put your right hand behind my shoulder and face everyone.

You love your naps. You usually take 2 or 3 naps a day, typically for 2 or more hours at a time. You sleep in a Sleep Sack, with a fan blowing on you, since it's been so hot this month. You still sleep with the white noise machine. You have also started sleeping with Boo, a stuffed dog. Usually you pull it towards you, and I will go in to check on you and you'll be sleeping with Boo on your head or face!  You have been scooting up while you sleep so your face is smooshed up against the crib bumper in your bed--I don't understand how it is at all comfortable.

You take great naps--but you aren't doing so well at night. You sleep between 2-4 hour stretches at a time. I am pretty sure you can sleep longer, but mommy is lazy. See, if I get up and feed you, you go right back to sleep. I am awake for maybe 10 minutes. But, if I don't feed you, then you cry, and I am up for at least 45 minutes, not able to sleep because you are crying.  *sigh*  I am sure I will get to the point where I don't want to get up anymore, but I am not there yet.

We did some exciting things this month, and you showed that you LOVE to be out and about, especially when you can people-watch! You especially love to sit in your Daddy's lap and watch things. You seem to get so calm when he is holding you.  We went to a Dodgers game and sat in the HOT sun, and you didn't complain once. You sweated like a little piglet, but you never complained!  We go to Baby Mamas group every week, and you're starting to acknowledge the other babies in the group. You are also really into watching the dogs. You laughed at Waldo for the first time this month--when he was jumping over Mommy's feet by the pool, you just thought it was so funny!  I love to hear your little giggle.

You giggle the most when we tickle your legs, or when we play "Airplane" with you. We have to be careful when playing Airplane, though--you tend to spit up while directly above our heads!  Mommy had to wash her hair one time. :P  You are also more responsive when we are in the pool. Before, you would get very serious when you were swimming. Now, you are big enough to sit in the floatie without being supported, and you smile now when you are swimming.  You still love the bath, and it is becoming MUCH more of a playtime for you--the mirror and the counter end up soaking wet after every bath, because of all your splashing!  You also love playing Pat-A-Cake and Peek-A-Boo.

You're pretty independent. You don't like to be held for long periods of time. You like being put down so you can play in your exersaucer, or under your activity mat. I often put you in your high chair with a bunch of toys, and you are content to play on your own for 20 minutes or so.  You aren't a snuggler, which is good for mommy's productivity, but also a little sad because, well, you aren't a snuggler!  I usually get a few good snuggles in during our feeding time, but even that is happening less and less as you get distracted by the world around you--any little noise will pull your attention away!  Sometimes, I go and feed you in your room where it's dark and quiet, just so you will focus on eating.

You are very vocal!  You often sing yourself to sleep, and you wake me up in the morning with your chatter over the monitor.  You make raspberry noises, especially when you don't like something.  You've been making "ba" and "mmm" sounds.  In the car, when you're starting to fall asleep, you'll sing in a funny voice.  I even got a video of it once!

You make me laugh every day, little girl. Your smiles and giggles warm me from the inside out. You are a joy to your Daddy and me, and it is amazing to watch you grow and learn every day.

I love you,
Mommy

Letter to Baby

Dear Avonlea,

Oh, little girl. You are so much fun. You are growing leaps and bounds these days in terms of your growth and development.

Physically, you are getting so big. Everyone exclaims about it whenever we go out. When I say you're 4 months old, people say, "oh, she's so big!" They say how long you are, and you really are--you are too long for 3 month clothes (and some 6 month clothes, too!).  At the doctor today, you were 25 inches long, which is in the 75th percentile. You're also getting more chunky. Your arms have the cutest little rolls, and your legs are getting a little dimply. You weigh 16 pounds 4 ounces--80th percentile!  Your carseat is getting harder and harder to carry!

Your long, darker hair that you've had since birth is almost all gone on the top--you just have a dark mullet around the base of your neck. More hair has started growing in, and it is all blonde, just like Daddy.

Your physical therapy is going well. The doctor thinks you have made really good progress. There's only about 10 degrees of rotation left for us to work on. You don't fuss as much during your appointments anymore, which is nice. Everyone at the doctor's office always dotes on you when you come in.

My days of calling you little miss Fussy Face are almost over. You are going to have to be called little miss Smiley Face from now on!  You love to smile, and are starting to really laugh at things now. You love to have your feet played with, and if I ever need you to smile, I just squeeze your little toes. You love your Daddy! He comes home from work and says "hi" to you, and your eyes just light up. We have snuggle kisses time in the evenings before you go to bed, and I love to see you smiling and laughing.

Your sleep is still not great, but it's because you're growing up in that department, too. You are officially out of a swaddle now. It took a few days of crying and struggling, but now you go down for naps and sleeping without too much fuss. Last night, you didn't cry at all when we put you to bed for the night!  You're only sleeping 4 hours max at a time overnight, so Mommy is going to work on breaking that habit. You take 2 or 3 naps a day.

This month, we took you to Disneyland for the first time. You loved all the colors and lights. We rode It's A Small World, the flying Dumbos, and the Pooh ride. You got a little scared on the Pooh ride when it got dark and played scary music, but other than that, you liked it!  You stayed up from 4:00 until 11:00, and fell asleep before we got out of the parking lot!  You just love to see what is going on around you!

We also took you to your first wedding. You did an amazing job! You were nice and quiet during the ceremony and you liked being outside. Everyone at our table couldn't believe how well-behaved you were.  You are so much better overall with being patient and having a longer attention span without being fussy.  I couldn't believe on Sunday that you could hang out with a friend for 4.5 hours while Mommy cooked!

We put you in your big stroller for the first time this month--you looked so little in it! I had to prop you up on a couple of blankets so that the seat restraints would fit the right way. :)

You're back to liking your car seat. You fuss getting in to it and getting out of it, but you do a good job riding in it once we get going.

You are growing so much developmentally, as well.  Your core is much stronger, and you can sit for longer periods of time (by being propped up, of course).  You are very engaged with your toys, and enjoy sitting in your high chair surrounded by them. You still aren't a fan of tummy time, but I can trick you by propping you up on your belly on the Boppy pillow, and you like it much better. You are grabbing things and putting them in your mouth, and you have started drooling a lot.  We bought you an exersaucer, and you love to sit in it and play.  A couple of times we have caught you falling asleep while sitting in your exersaucer or high chair!  You're more and more vocal every day. I always know when you're finally ready to get up for the day, because you'll lay in your pack-n-play and just sing to yourself (aah-aah-aah).  Oh--and you started rolling over again, after a long break (because you got too chubby to roll yourself over).

I am so blessed to be your mommy. You are changing so quickly now--I feel like every day you learn to do something new. It's amazing to see you grow more and more beautiful and sweet, and it's so neat to see how smart you are when you learn something new.  I'm so glad I get to spend the days with you.

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Baby

Dear Avonlea,

You are 3 months old today!  This month has especially seemed to fly by. You'll learn when you get older that when things are going hard, time seems to slow down, and when things are fun, the time will speed up. And this month, has been fun.

You are becoming more and more alert and animated every day. I'm so glad to have the picture above--it captured your sweet, sweet smile.  You giggled at me once last week. I keep trying to get you to do it again!  You smile the most when you first wake up.

Your sleep has been a little mixed up this month, because of our trip to Ohio. You had a good routine, and then changing time zones twice really messed you up. A couple of nights you only slept an hour and a half at a time!  Thankfully, you're starting to get back to normal in your overnight sleeping. You go between 4 and 5 hours at a time.  You had two nights of 8 hours in a row, but you haven't done that since.  Over the last week you've been really sleepy during the day, taking 3 or 4 naps a day!  You must be having a growth spurt.

Speaking of Ohio, you had your first plane ride! I was very nervous going into it, because you were pretty fussy, and didn't like sitting in one place very long. I had a lot of people praying for our trip. You did such a good job on the plane! Our flights to Ohio were overnight, which helped. You only fussed at the very end of one flight, when we had to wait to get off of the plane.  Your flight back was a little rougher, but it was during the day, so you were more awake. We passed out little baggies of candy to our flight neighbors, so that helped everyone stay pleasant to us during the flight!

It was so wonderful seeing you meet PawPaw and Grammy and Poppa, and Papaw, and Great-Grandma, and your Aunt Ashley, and great-aunts and great-uncles. You had a tough time with the time change, so you were cranky when meeting the Campbells and Humes, but they didn't care, because they were so excited to meet you! Your Great-Grandma Hume and Grammy and Poppa were especially excited to meet you.

You have been doing great with your physical therapy. The doctor is noticing that your range of motion is getting better each week.

You are doing so well with eating! You haven't used the nipple shield since we went to Ohio. We are officially done with it--yay! It's amazing to see how you have grown. You started this month eating every hour and a half to two hours, and you're now able to go longer in between feedings. It's also nice because you aren't yelling at me when you're ready to eat!

You love to face out, so I got a Baby Bjorn to carry you around in. You love it! I am trying to keep you upright as much as possible, because your physical therapist mentioned that you have a bit of a flat head. I don't want you to have a flat head!  One of the solutions for it is to do tummy time, but BOY do you hate it!  You do a good job holding your head up, but you don't want to be on your tummy for long.

You're starting to chunk up a bit more, which makes me super happy. I love fat babies!  At the doctor, you weighed 14lbs, 6oz.  We will find out what percentile you are in at next month's appointment.

We are still reading through the "Jesus Storybook Bible". We just read about David and Goliath yesterday. You are looking more at the pictures when I read. You are also noticing Gus and Waldo. Today I saw you smiling at them while we were sitting on the couch and they were playing.

You are grabbing at things now when they touch your hands. You like to play with my Debbie bracelet that I wear on my wrist. You also grab at your clothes and your blankets. Your favorite toy this month has been your hands!  You are almost able to get your whole fist in your mouth!  Sometimes, you put your fist in your mouth, and then you extend your fingers--and gag yourself!  Silly girl.

I love you so much!
Mommy

Letter to Baby

Dear Avonlea,

Whew. I just got you to sleep after a marathon 2 hours in which you didn't really stop whining/crying at all. I did all the tricks that usually work--changed you, swaddled you, rocked you, shushed you, walked around the house with you--but nothing seemed to settle you. Finally, I wrapped you up tight, put you in the swing, put on the white noise maker, and went outside to get the mail--I just needed to get away from your screaming for a minute. When I came back, you were asleep.

This scene is so descriptive of our first month together. You have not been easy! I think I went into your birth with too rosy a picture of what it was going to be like. I don't think any mom thinks that they will have a fussy baby, and I was certainly one of those moms that thought they would bring home a perfectly happy, content newborn.

But you weren't happy and content. You fussed and cried a lot. Feeding didn't go smoothly. You got frustrated and angry and you cried a lot.

It is getting better--I'm learning what makes you happy as we spend more time together.  Feeding you has gotten 1000x better--in fact, yesterday I fed you for the first time away from home!  But there are some times, like this morning, where we just can't seem to get it together.

I know things will get better. The first few months are always the hardest. Things have already gotten better.

I want to let you know that I love you. Even when you're howling at me like a feral cat, I smile and love you anyway. I know these days will pass. There are many moments during the day that we share that are happy. You love to get your diaper changed--it seems like the changing table is the only place where you never cry.  I kiss your sweet belly and your rosy cheeks, and sometimes you smile at me. We have tummy time on the floor together, and though you tire of it quickly, you work so hard to put your head up, and it makes me proud. You lay down on my propped up legs and we stare at each other--sometimes I'll tell you funny stories about the dogs, or about Daddy, or about me growing up, and you'll stare at me, trying to figure out what I'm saying.

When you cry, I try to remember the times where you're happy. Because I know this time will be over quickly, and I need to cherish it while it's here.

I love you,
Your Tired Mama