The first day of the rest of your life...

I made an appointment for the doctor today (Tuesday, July 31).

Why?  Because this morning, I took a pregnancy test.

And it was positive.

I thought it was broken. My jaw dropped, and I was completely stunned into silence. It has been negative so many times before!

Taking the test in and of itself was a fluke. I happened to notice that I was on Day 34 of my cycle. Yes, I just happened to notice. This is because typically I print out my chart, and the days are bigger, so when I get to a certain point on the page, I know it's about time to start. But this month, I just copied it from the back of the book, and the boxes are a lot smaller--so I wasn't to that point of my page yet.  Crazy, I know.  But for me to get to day 34 is pretty unusual. It's happened once before, but that was when I was traveling, and my period came on day 36.

I had some pregnancy tests from a while ago, so I decided to take one on a whim. After all, I couldn't be pregnant.

But it's a digital test. And there was no denying what it said.

Then I realized, "these tests can produce a false positive if they're old. How old are these tests?"

I checked the box, and they expired January 2012. So, I said to myself that it explained the false positive. I had some other tests, so I opened a new box (these were NOT expired), and took another one.

These were not digital tests. These were the little blue lines. And that little blue "pregnant" line was as blue as the California sky.

To be honest, my first thought wasn't happiness.  My first thought was that I wish I could tell my mom. This was a moment that she dreamed about, and I wish I could have shared it with her. Then I thought, how am I going to tell Nick?  I went into our bedroom, and just stared at him sleeping.

Does he realize that everything about his world is about to change?  What will his reaction be?  I have had an idea for telling him for a while. It took ALL I had not to wake him up.  But I guess part of me is still so sure that it can't be real!  I'm sitting on it for the day so that I can carry out my plans.

The next thoughts I had were about health. What should I be eating? (food) Should I continue running? (I hope so) Will the Mountain Dew and bologna I ate yesterday cause our kid to sprout two heads? (probably) 

And then I sank to my knees and cried. Cried out of relief and disbelief and guilt (yes, you read that right) and happiness and confusion. It's such a rush of so many different emotions, it's hard to put into words.

So I guess this "Baby Makin' Journey" has officially started!  Stay safe, little poppy seed!

(We're not telling anyone quite yet. Just a few people--like you--so that you can pray. SO much can happen over the first couple of months, and we would like our little poppy seed to grow in my safe haven a little more before telling people.)