Halfway Done!

Halfway done!

The baby has been kicking like crazy lately!!  I never felt "the flutter" that people feel. But one night, I laid down at the end of the night, and literally felt the feet kicking me in the front!  What is really fun is that I have been able to feel it on the outside, so Nick has been able to feel it, too. Though, he still maintains that he doesn't know what he's feeling--he thinks it's like, gas or something. :)  No, buddy, that's your kid! I feel it mostly in the morning and in the evening--usually in the car on the way to work. :)

I have (mostly) gotten over finding out what we are having over the phone.  I have just been enjoying knowing what we are having, and planning and dreaming together with Nick.  I had a fun way of telling Nick, which I did get on video, but I am not going to share it until after we tell our families when we go home in December. I love hearing people's theories, though--especially now that we know what we are having!  We have talked about names. I had 4 that I really liked, and Nick vetoed 3 of them. He didn't object to the last one (which was my favorite), so we'll see if it sticks over the next 4 months!

My OB sent me to a perinatologist to get my 20-week ultrasound. They didn't really give me a reason for it--I'm just thinking it is because the peri can do a much more detailed ultrasound, and they wanted to be sure that the test results I got were accurate.  We waited FOR-EV-ER at the peri's office. Our appointment was at 10:15, and we saw the doctor at 11:30. Nick was furious...he was actually wanting to leave. Thankfully, we don't need to go back again, because everything was normal! We got to count the fingers and toes, we could see the irises and the baby's profile in 3D, and the spine was crystal-clear. The peri was funny--he said he would give us a 3D photo, but don't get too excited, because the baby "looks like Skeletor" right now.

I actually thought it looked more like the aliens from "Independence Day". :)

Baby, I love you, but you're looking like an alien.

Life gets in the way sometimes...

Too busy to post lately. Lots of things to say, though. Until I get a chance to write, here are the 2 most recent belly pics, plus a couple that Nick took while we were in San Diego this past weekend.

Oops...nevermind. Apparently I have used up all of my free storage.  Guess I'll have to get Nick to figure that out for me.

Doctor Woes

Okay, it's official.

I hate my doctor's office.

I am switching immediately.

Reason #1: The first appointment I had in the office, they FORGOT ABOUT ME, and I was sitting in that stupid hospital gown for 45 minutes before someone came in and was surprised to see me in the room still.

Reason #2: They called me last week when they were closing 15 minutes later, to tell me that they had to talk with me about my lab results.

Reason #3: I had to call 6 times on Thursday to get the second test's results. They kept saying they needed to call the lab, and they would call me back. I called them 6 times to keep reminding them. Finally, they called me back at 6:15, and said they had called, but that the lab had closed. Grr!!

Reason #4: Today. I called to get the lab results, which came back negative. Yay! I was relishing in the results of that, when she proceeded to tell me that they also test for gender, and in the same breath, told me the gender.

Umm...I didn't want to know!

Dude. Not cool. ASK.

I actually called back and told the nurse off.

I'm really pissed off. Not because of the results of the test. Yay! Not because of what I'm having. Again, yay! But because I had made it up in my mind that I wasn't going to find out, and I was excited about having this mystery and surprise, and now it is ruined because I am just pissed at my doctor's office.

I don't get the joy of anticipation in the delivery room, focusing on knowing what we are going to have when the pain is over.

I mean, I don't even get the joy of (if we had decided to find out), seeing the images on the ultrasound, and sharing that moment with Nick. Instead, I am sitting here, in my pjs on the couch, seething and crying because the moment is ruined because some dumb nurse didn't have the courtesy to ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION.

I know I need to have perspective. But right now, I'm just mad.

18 Weeks

Letter to Baby

Dear Baby,

Sitting here in an airplane and dreaming of you. I just read a beautiful book called "Safe Haven", by Nicholas Sparks. In it, there is a character named Jo, who made me think of your Nana, who was my mom.

Nana has been on my mind a lot lately. Being pregnant with you has been a joy (well, most of the time. I will admit, it wasn't fun feeling sick for the first few months), but there is a tinge of sadness, as well, knowing that you will never be able to know Nana.

This makes me more sad than you will know. Your Nana was an incredible lady. She was full of courage and grace, questions and confidence. She loved family and friends, and she anticipated the day that she would get to meet you with such clarity. If you are a girl, you will be named Jeanne after her (her middle name was Jeanne, too).  The character of Jo in the book was a guide for the main character, Katie. She helped Katie to realize some things about her life that were missing. Your Nana did the same thing for me. She was a great source of wisdom. She helped me to make decisions, and helped to challenge me to do even greater things than I had planned for myself.

If I could change one thing about my life, it would be for you to get a chance to get to know Nana. To be held in her arms, to sing with her, to feel her hands as they caressed your face, to see the look in her eyes as she intently listened to whatever you had to say. The best thing that I can tell you is that I try to be like her in the best ways possible. My hands and Nana's hands are the same. I wear her ring as a reminder of what a beautiful love she and Papaw shared together. I have a tattoo of the word "strength" on my wrist as a reminder of the strength and focus that she exhibited through difficult times. I have Nana's laugh and mannerisms. And although you never got to see them yourself, you can watch me and see parts of Nana in me.  I promise to do my best to let you know all the time how much your Nana loved you, and how much she cared for you, even before you were born.

I think about Nana a lot, just as much as I think of you. She was so excited to be a grandma, even though she knew she might never get the chance to see you. You see, Nana was sick for a long time. In fact, the first time she got sick with cancer, I was only 11. We didn't know if Nana was going to live for very long. But she prayed that she would be able to see me and your Aunt Ashley graduate from high school. And God answered her prayers! Then, she prayed that God would let her see me and Aunt Ashley graduate from college…and God answered that prayer, too! Then, she prayed for God to let her see me and Aunt Ashley get married…and she walked down the aisle when I married your daddy, and when Ashley married Uncle Brandon. She then prayed that God would let her see her grand babies. And although her sickness took her to Heaven before she got to meet you, I know that she was smiling down from Heaven when God put you in my womb. In fact, Jesus probably told her about you before I even knew! Although God didn't answer Nana's prayer the way that we would have wanted Him to, His ways are perfect. And if the day comes when you ask Jesus into your heart, then you can know that one day you WILL get to meet Nana face-to-face--in Heaven!

Until that day, you will have to settle for stories and pictures and memories that we have of Nana. Your Papaw loves to talk about Nana--if you ever want to know what she was like, you can ask him, or me, or Aunt Ashley, or any of your other relatives. Because everyone loved Nana, and everyone misses her very much.

Dreaming of you,

Mommy