The only one going as planned...what kind of plan should I have...really?

Warning: This post is full of questions, and lacking in answers.

I've always been twinged with discomfort when I hear couples' "plans" for having kids.  Especially if I know those people to be Christians.  (Disclaimer: I am a Christian, and Nick and I have a plan for kids.  So I know--I'm preaching to the choir here.)  After all: as Christians, doesn't God determine our steps?  Aren't we supposed to be leaving the future completely up to Him?  In the age of birth control, it seems like we have completely taken the planning out of God's hands and put it firmly into ours.  Isn't this so human?  We want control of everything!

This is one of those things where I have serious questions about the philosophical implications of birth control; but at the same time, the possibility of having a baby in our first year of marriage (or on our honeymoon) made me break out into a cold sweat and wake up with nightmares!  (I used to make fun of my friend Sara because she always said her greatest fear was "getting pregnant on her honeymoon"--until I grew up and realized that it was my fear as well!)  I mean, should I have given complete control of our "Baby Makin Journey" to God, and gone au natural when it comes to the baby-making itself?  Should Christians be using birth control of any method?  Or should we rely on God's Will to be our birth control?

Then there's that image of me as one half of Jon and Kate or the Duggars, and I shudder and pop the pill into my mouth.

I don't want to get into some big, philosophical argument about this.  But I really questioned a lot internally about the birth control aspect of our marriage.

I also wonder about it's effects on my body now.  I'm 30.  Not elderly, but also not a spring chicken.  Has being on the Pill for 5 years ruined some of the best eggs my body will produce?  If we have difficulty getting pregnant, what will that mean for me?  How will that affect me emotionally?

I have several friends who have been on both sides of the birth control spectrum, with varied results:  Some people who never took birth control and had immense difficulty getting pregnant; Some who were on birth control, but got pregnant anyway.  In both of these instances, I feel like God was getting the ultimate say in His plan.  He had a timetable for their lives, and regardless of their plans, He has worked out their family exactly as He saw fit.  But for me, who as of right now is firmly planted in the "doing it the way we planned it" category, will I feel like when we do get pregnant that it is blessed with God's perfect timing?  Or will I feel like I've finally allowed Him to work in my life according to my own timetable?

As a child of God, I want Him to be glorified in my life.  I worry that maybe I took too much of His Will out of my "plans".  What kind of plan should I have been making for myself?  Should I even have had a plan?