What I Want for Mother's Day

Avonlea and I go to Mommy and Me class every week at the local adult education center. We have talked about all sorts of things--family traditions, potty training, teaching your kids about sex and death, tooth care, burn care--everything that parents could want to know. The teachers are great, and they are very caring towards the kids and the parents.

But today's topic really hit hard for me. It was about Mother's Day. About what you remember about your mom, and what you hope your kids remember about you as a mother. Needless to say, it was a hard class for me. I cried pretty much the entire "share" time.

This will be my 4th Mother's Day without Mom, and they don't really get easier, especially now that I have my own girls. I wish that they had their Nana to celebrate. After all, she was a major part of how I turned out the way that I did. I will just do my best to convey to Avonlea and Aria about what an amazing lady she was, and how cancer really sucks for taking her away from us so early.

We went around the circle and people shared one of their favorite memories of their Moms. It was *really* hard listening to several of the moms talk about their moms being there for the births of their kids. I ended up being last--and as everyone was sharing, I was really struggling to narrow it down to *one* thing to share.

A few that came to mind:

• My sister got a karaoke machine (for a birthday? I'm not sure) and true to Hume fashion, we had an "oldies karaoke" CD with a bunch of Diana Ross/Supremes. We sat around the dining room table, and sang "Baby Love". My mom wasn't a singer (she could carry a tune, but she would NEVER have gotten up in front of anyone to sing), so this was a fun memory because it was such an unusual thing to happen.
• When I was in middle school, Mom and I would sit down for an hour or so after school (or sometimes in the evenings) and have Dr. Mario battles on the original Nintendo. She was SO GOOD at it! We used to do "battle mode", and we would start on the 2nd hardest level. I swear she was practicing at night after I went to bed.
• We loved watching sports together--especially football, college and pro. We went to an Ohio State game together, and also several Bengals games. She would always squeal and jump up and down on the couch. She had the OSU vs Miami Nat'l Championship game on DVD and would often re-watch it while working on mailings.

(Yes, we went to a Bengals game at the Colts stadium. Thankfully, Indy fans are polite)

• She was an incredible Realtor, and one summer, I was her "assistant". I use quotations, because I really wasn't that much help. But I remember getting to spend every day with her, and going out to lunch at the Jewish deli across the street from her office. In fact, there are many memories of going to appointments with her, or going to spend the afternoon in her office when she had "phone duty" back when she worked at The Realty Group.
• Every year at the start of the school year, Mom and I would sit down together and set goals for the school year together. She would set her business goals, I would set my school/athletic goals for the year. I found it a little annoying, I'll admit. But now I love looking back on that time that we spent together, looking forward together.
• I loved when I found my wedding dress, and getting to walk out of the fitting room and see Mom's face. When she was first diagnosed with cancer, she hoped to see me graduate, so to have her still around so many years later, and getting to watch both her girls get married was amazing. She and I both looked at the dress in the mirror, and said, "This is the one!"
• My final memory of Mom is holding her hand when she passed away. Being with her in her last few days on Earth was immensely difficult, but also precious.

But I guess as I think over the different memories, one thing stands out the most: Mom was *there*. She was at every game (and as a 4-sport athlete, there were a LOT), even through college when I was playing in Pennsylvania or Indiana or Michigan. She was at every concert, every church performance. She had a wonderfully successful real estate business that kept her away more than she would like, but I really don't remember that. I remember always looking in the stands and seeing her. Her continual presence was such a comfort to me.

And what I really wanted to say to the Mommy and Me class is that what I want my girls to remember about me as a Mom is what I remember most about my Mom. I want Avonlea and Aria to remember me being there. Being a part of their lives. Caring about what they are doing, supporting their efforts, encouraging them and challenging them to set goals. I want them to be able to look out into the stands, or across the auditorium, or even in the car pool line and see me there. Have them know, with confidence, that I will be there for them.