To Know or Not To Know...

...that has been the question.

I haven't been diligent about writing through this pregnancy, but we decided a while ago that we weren't going to find out the gender of this baby.

We didn't want to find out with Avonlea--but due to an over-eager nurse, we were told early. So, we decided that with this one, we would try again.

And it has been fun not knowing. To be able to anticipate and wonder, to thrill in the unknown. I wasn't worried about the "things" aspect. We registered for mostly gender-neutral gifts with Avonlea, and I wasn't worried about clothes, because some of our really great friends have had boys, and so I knew we would have clothes. Plus--who cares if you dress a newborn in a wrong-color onesie? You have to tell strangers what it is anyway!

There *has* been a problem with not knowing, though, and it relates to this post I wrote in December. I have found it hard to connect with this baby. Not that gender has a huge effect on that, but I think it definitely would help me to be able to connect. To get ready, to get closet space filled up, to settle on a name, to start calling the baby by something other than "Biscuit".

I mentioned this disconnect several times to Nick, and he asked if finding out the gender would be helpful for me. After thinking about it, I decided that yes, it would.

Fun fact: Did you know that we have had the ultrasound result on our refrigerator since I was 19 weeks pregnant?

And NO we didn't peek once! We decided at my 19-week ultrasound to have them put the results into an envelope--at that point, I was gung-ho about NOT looking, and Nick was 50/50 about it. We put it on the fridge, and if we decided we wanted to look, then we could.

People couldn't BELIEVE we hadn't looked at it when we told them it was on the fridge! My neighbor, Sunni, actually said she was going to come and look when we weren't there, because she wanted to know so badly! It just wasn't a temptation. With Avonlea, I found out what we were having when Nick was at work, and I didn't want to find out again without him; and when he was home, we didn't really talk about it. It honestly didn't come up.

At our 19-week appointment, the doctor saw that I had a low-lying placenta, so we had to come back at 26 weeks for another ultrasound to check on it. At the 26-week appointment, he saw that the placenta had moved up to where it should be (yay), and then checked over the rest of the baby. He moved it to the "find out" area, and then pulled the wand away--but had it there long enough that both of us thought we had seen something definitive!

Of course, a couple of hours later, I was able to talk myself out of what I had thought I had seen. :)

But anyways, because of the disconnect, we decided that we would look on Christmas Day.

Want to know what we're having?

Well, you'll just have to wait until February 3rd to find out!  'Cause we're not telling!  Feel free to leave your guesses in the comments!

(For the record, one of us guessed correctly, and one of us was surprised.)