It has been a while since I have posted. In this case, no news=bad news. Still no baby.
But thanks to the book I read, I have a few more answers.
I am asking around with my newfound friends for some recommendations for good OB/GYNs. I would like to find someone that: 1) is female. 2) is an advocate for natural birth, and doesn't shrug off fertility awareness. 3) promotes proactive breast health (aka will give me a mammogram at age 32). Nick and I are going to be part of a health network starting in January, which makes me a little nervous about finding a good health practicioner. I am afraid I am going to be stuck at a doctor I don't trust.
In November, it was 2 years since Nick and I started trying to have a baby. We are at the start of year 3. This last year has been very trying, with a lot of stress and life changes. But that hasn't diminished the desire. All of the change has helped to quell the cravings a bit--there are days when I am perfectly content with the life that Nick and I are living right now. But I still have an overwhelming desire to be a mommy.
The problem with moving and making new friends is that I get to deal with all of the questions all over again. "How long have you been married? Do you have kids? Wow--why not? Aren't you trying? Don't you want to have kids? You should try not trying--as soon as you don't try, it will happen."
It was nice in Ohio to have the people closest to me KNOW how hard it has been for me, and to just not ask. Or, at least to be able to ask in a more...discreet? subtle? kind? tactful way. People mean well, and so I patiently answer their questions.
My friends Josh and Tami have been patiently waiting for approval in their adoption process for a year now. They are on the waiting list for a baby boy from Ethiopia, and the adoption process is extremely slow-moving, to put it lightly. The yearning that they express on their blog so often mirrors the yearning that I feel. On their one year DTE date (DTE means Dossier To Ethiopia--basically the home stretch), they posted an article that someone had written about what the waiting process was like, and how to support people in it. Here is a link to the full article, but I really appreciated these sentiments, and I think I'll end today with them.
"Just
kind, normal words of encouragement. Not the kind that assume we are
one breath away from atheism. Not the kind that attempt to minimize the
difficulties and tidy it all up with catchphrases. We don’t actually need for you to fix our wait.
We just want you to be our friend and acknowledge that the process is
hard and you care about us while we’re hurting. That is GOLD.
"When
you say you’re praying for us and our waiting children, and you
actually really are, not only does that soothe our troubled souls, but
according to Scripture, it activates the heavens. So pray on, dear
friends. Pray on. That is always the right thing to say. And please
actually do it. We need people to stand in the gap for us when we are
too tired and discouraged to keep praying the same words another day."
